this week, a professor sat me down and talked to me about happiness.
he went on to say that he would put money down and wager with me
that i would become a very successful person in 5 years time.
"you have all the qualities it takes.." he said.
" you are in the top 13th percentile right now!" he said.
all these, to encourage me to be happy in life.
to enjoy learning and studying as i complete my last year @ NUS.
to take away all the stress on my face that appears evident to him.
this was truly unexpected.
but it has left a deep imprint in my life
as i begin taking a new perspective of life and
find joy in the simple things that money can't buy.
Nietzsche once said:
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."
Indeed,
if HE is my WHY,
then why do i need to worry so much about the future?
It's all in HIS hands.
my career path, my salary... etc.
and no,
our WHY should not be found in any other relationships
except the one we have with God.
with God in the center,
everything else falls into place-
nicely.
so,
where is your happiness from?
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
9:29 AM
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
together we'll make life colourful
introducing- my ah peh boyfriend. :)
so i've heard that in this present relationship, i'm the less expressive and quieter one. obviously right? when the other half is more thick skin and ....... you know. hahaha.
so this is my FIRST (and yes, took me a long time before i decided that i HAD to do this) public display of affection a.k.a PDA for my ah peh boyfriend. to let him know that i've actually secretly compiled a list of things that i'm extremely thankful for.
NO 1. Surprised me at NLB with flowers
and presents after his return from thailand.
NO 2. Bought me coloured markers from
MUJI to tell me that "together, we can make life colourful"
--------- HOW CHEESY is that?!
NO 3. Bought me a crazy nice dress
from Coats for Joce's 21st Birthday Party!
NO 4. Planned a mini-surprise birthday
party for me to make up for his
absence during the actual day. (hahahaha!)
NO 5. Scrapbooked with me even when he found it boring (for our all-new Polaroid board which contains important
memories of our journey
and the people that have
influenced us or are part
of our journey in one way or another!)
NO 6. Suggested going to Clarence's house to visit him which ended up as a true blessing
when Pastor Caleb and Christina said
"whao, so nice to see both of you together!
still remember how you all
looked like when you were young."
(affirmation is always encouraging) :)
NO 7. Encourages me when school work piles up at WEEK 3.
NO 8. Cracks me up with his ah peh slang and jokes.
NO. 9 Reminds me that we are special-
cause it's rare to find two people in
love and who have grown up in fcbc all their lives.
NO. 10 IT'S A SECRET.
at the end of the day, i am thankful for more than all these things. :) recently, we both listened to this Singaporean compilation of Christian songs. and this particular song written by City Harvest was our favourite track from the album. Sad to say, all the major churches were represented in the Integrity Music Album, save for ours. so here's my encouragement to you...
to charles:
you are very special to me! and my prayer is that you will become the next John Koh of FCBC. God has given you a unique talent to worship him, but i think he has also imparted in you the spirit to write beautiful songs. You have the melodies so whenever you get stuck with the lyrics, that's what i'm here for! :) cause i'm the humanities/literature girl. but i pray that you will allow the Holy Spirit to guide you so that you can compose intimate love songs for God that reach to the depths of the hearts of people.
May this song be a constant reminder to you of God's calling for your life-
that no matter what comes your way,
the best compliment you can ever receive, is from God himself.
"our greatest honour will always be to serve our Lord and King!"
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
10:07 PM
Friday, August 28, 2009
The God I Know- sends me 3 Angels.
The Church He Knows Righteous and Holy The Church He Knows Faithful and true The Church He Knows A tower of refuge Hearts are healed Christ Revealed
The Church He Knows Light of the City The Church He Knows Strengthens the weak The Church He Knows is Strong and Mighty As HE is So Are We.
in a difficult period of change and transition, thank you, my solidarity sisters. E, SW, SH- you girls have been a blessing. thank you for being that "church" to me when i felt that my own had gone into disarray. 22 years of growing up in one, yet a distinct moment of disappointment. due to inefficiencies and the never-changing legalism that still pervades the culture. a church that has been focused too much on structure and organization, a church that has forgotten how to use their HEART. thank you, for showing me what the CHURCH is supposed to be. for reminding me that the HEART is more important than the structure. and for giving me hope to persevere on.
never have i felt so lonely in my spiritual walk. never have i been yearning so much for a solid cell meeting. so E, thanks once again for inviting me to your cell. :) i was so blessed the last time. looking forward to attending another.
they say, that the new things come when the old is forgotten. i'm letting go of the old. and waiting in anticipation of transformation now. :)
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
5:57 PM
Sunday, August 16, 2009
a sparkle of hope when all seems bleak :)
"University life itself will provide many opportunities to hone your leadership skills. Mr Puah You Kai, a Year 2 Local Teaching Scholar, assumed the role of organizing Chairman for the Singapore Model United Nations 2009, an undergraduate-run conference for over 300 participants aged 17 years and above. At this conference, participants role-played country ambassadors and debated real-life global issues. Besides You Kai, four other Teaching Scholars were in the Organising Committee, Ms Ngiam Jing Zhi, Ms Charmaine Tay Mei Xian, Ms Rachel Kwan and Mr Kwok Yi Jun. I encourage our teaching scholars and award holders to participate in and benefit fully from these activities."
Dr Ng Eng Heng- Minister for Education at the 2009 Teaching Scholarships Presentation.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
7:19 PM
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Absolute Unblemished Purity
Either Jesus Christ is the supreme authority on the human heart, or He is not worth paying any attention to. Am I prepared to trust the penetration of His Word into my heart, or would i prefer to trust my own "innocent ignorance"? If i will take an honest look at myself, becoming fully aware of my so-called innocence and putting it to the test, I am very likely to have a rude awakening that what Jesus Christ said is true, and I will be appalled at the possibilities of the evil and the wrong within me. But as long as I remain under the false security of my own "innocence," I am living in a fool's paradise. Purity is something far too deep for me to arrive at naturally.
[The Way to Purity- Oswald Chambers]
Dear Lord, I hand myself over to You today. I want the Holy Spirit in my life and in my heart, so that my life can be absolutely unblemished and absolutely pure before You. PLEASE, help me today, be it in my actions, my words or my thoughts. I don't want to live in fool's paradise anymore, but to live in your Kingdom from this day forward. Amen.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
10:34 AM
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
completely
watched facing the giants with kai ling last night. i think it's my 4th time watching it this time. but each time, a different scene or a different song speaks to me. i guess it really depends on which season you are entering in life.
the real reason why i watched the movie was because i thought it would be a great encouragement for kailing. thought that God would have spoken enough to me through that movie already. but i think He never stops speaking.
*the two words that have been haunting me recently- "left behind"
*the image that haunts me- "the average man"
i know in my heart that if i decide to make a move; if i take that step into the unknown, it's because everyone else is leaving.
in fact, sometimes you feel the need for a change because you're tired of walking the same path. or at least for me, i've been thinking that i'm not good enough in many aspects. and the drudgery and pain catches up with you because you have no idea where the end zone is.
so last night, when i saw this scene,
when i heard this song,
(Completely)
The secret of life is letting go
the secret of love is letting it show
in all that I do in all that I say right here in this moment
the power of prayer is in a humble cry
the power of change is in giving my life
and laying it down down at your feet right here in this moment
chorus:
take my heart take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
and let all that is within me lift up to you and say I am yours and yours alone completely
This journey of life is a search for truth
this journey of faith is following you
every step of the way
through the joy and the pain
right here in this moment
and when i heard this verse,
What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.
[Revelations 3: 7-8]
i knew that God was telling me something.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
12:16 PM
Friday, July 10, 2009
22
21+1=22
feels different to cross the 21 mark. i don't really know how to explain that feeling.
but Janelle did say to me,
"WELCOME TO THE ADULT CLUB"
.........
this birthday was quite different from the previous year's hype of a 21st birthday party and celebration. it was simple, nice and quiet.
i'm thankful for all the birthday wishes. they meant alot to me. :) but i'm especially thankful
for ALL the FRIENDS
who made overseas calls just to wish me a very Happy Birthday.
that sure took more effort considering the time zone differences! Well, YOU know who you are.
after seeing the grand canyon, yosemite national park and the astronomy trip earlier this year, i am dying to witness and feel the awesome presence of God in nature once again. *in great anticipation for the upcoming holiday*
i'm still grateful and thankful for the greatness of God in my life- even when life doesn't seem so blissful and perfect all the time. :)
THIS IS THE SONG IN MY HEART.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
9:57 AM
Thursday, July 09, 2009
christy and todd- the college years
yes, i'm reading christian romance novels. (roll your eyes now if you wish) but shiwei, i must say, these novels are really good. thank you for placing them in my care during your 5-mth absence from Singapore. HAHAHA. i like robin jones gunn.
here's an excerpt from *i promise*
Todd: I thought she couldn't hurt me anymore. I thought i was over it. But when my mom called yesterday and said she wasn't coming for my graduation, i found myself remembering every important event in my life she's missed.
............
Christy: When the enemy comes knocking on a door you closed long ago, you just call out,
'Jesus, it's for you!'
we all have doors of hurts and disappointments that we probably shut long ago when we have forgiven; when we have chosen to let go of certain memories and events. so sometimes, we must know that when they come back to haunt us, it really is a door that we should not open again.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
10:01 AM
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
when mars and venus meet.
what, it's been 6-7 years of homogeneity in the cell groups and suddenly,
*thunder crash*
we're together again.. just praising the Lord.. we're together again.. in one accord...
something go** ##4%^^~~^^## is going to happen....
oh yes, the awkwardness of combined cell. do i hear a "Hallelujah"?
hahaha. last friday was THE first combined cell with evan's guys in THE most conducive environment at THE TCT. with 2 girls and let's see.... 7 guys?
it takes time getting used to hearing guys sharing it takes time getting used to seeing evan it takes time getting used to having the guitar during worship (*my fav change of all!)
the last time i had combined cell, was when tab/dannyboy/i were in charles' cell. we used to play games, lots of games. and charles the poor cell leader would ALWAYS LOSE. that old combined cell feeling and this new combined cell feeling- is totally different i must admit.
but maybe in a good way. although we've collaborated in several harvest events prior to combined cell, we never had to share our life stories at those gatherings. it's different now, and you wonder if random guys will actually understand what you're talking about. can you share in depth? can you speak honestly? i'm not certain, but i am interested to find out.
so in the meantime, while charmaine gets used to the dynamics of cell group once again, this blog shall be her sharing space.
cell group was about Growing Deep in God by Pastor Edmund Chan.
*afterthoughts*
The Committed Life centers on our doing; the Surrendered Life centers on our being.
The Committed Life emphasises what we must do for Christ; the Surrendered Life realises that we can do nothing apart from Christ.
The Committed Life exalts competence; the Surrendered Life exalts character
The Committed Life emphasises the outward; the Surrendered Life centers on Obedience
this paragraph got me thinking- alot.
know which passage in the bible frightens me the most? JAMES 1.
6But when he asks,
he must believe and not doubt,
because he who doubts
is like a wave of the sea,
blown and tossed by the wind.
7That man should not think
he will receive anything from the Lord;
8he is a double-minded man,
unstable in all he does.
because everytime i pray, i fear the presence of a small little doubt that creeps into my mind. (and it always happens) and then WALA~ i'm finished.... there goes my prayer....
but after friday, i thought- maybe it's because i've been leading THE committed life. and not the one that's wholly surrendered to God. i've been focusing on the wrong things. so my "surrender to God" has been "piecemeal"
For a soul to be truly nourished, it must be a soul that is truly surrendered. Such surrender is the ability to sleep the perfect sleep of faith (I WANT THIS) It is to be rested in the perfect rest of God (I WANT THIS) Even Amidst a Restless World (I WANT THIS)
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
10:08 AM
Monday, July 06, 2009
daydreams....
oooooh. all thanks to eletachin for introducing me to We got married- THE Korean Variety show which has got me all mushy and dreamy........
absolutely got a kick out of watching alex/sinae and hyun jung/hwang bo taking their wedding photographs. yeepp, they're my favourite couples!
but i think i really preferred hyun jung and hwang bo's wedding shoot. it was so much more lively and enjoyable :) i loved the background sets for their shoot- it made them look young, happy and contented. i loved hyun jung's groom outfits- he's the only one who can pull off berms nicely for a wedding shoot! but most of all, hwang bo's been really amazing throughout the show.
yupp, although i was gushing over alex and hyun jung during the start of the show, i decided that hwang bo was one of the coolest women around. her laughter's absolutely contagious and she's definitely not afraid to look un-glamorous. oh yes, she's dark-skinned and tanned, like Me.
hahahahahahaha
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
4:12 PM
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
the song that makes my hair stand.
am i really highly favoured?
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
12:36 PM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
in christ alone
In Christ alone will I glory though I could pride myself in battles won for I've been blessed beyond measure and by His strength alone I overcome O, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hand but those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand.
In Christ alone I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross in every victory Let it be said of me My Source of strength My Source of hope Is Christ alone
In Christ alone do I glory for only by His grace I am redeemed And only His tender mercy could reach beyond my weakness to my need and now I seek no greater honour than just to know him more and to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
10:21 AM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
singapore dreaming
have you ever wondered what it would be like to finally win the TOTO after chasing it for decades, only to find yourself down on the floor, suffering from a heart attack?
have you ever wondered what it would be like to give up your dreams for marriage, only to wish that you had treated yourself with more respect and dignity, when you realize at the end of the road that all the sacrifices came to naught?
have you ever wondered what it would be like to marry a man on the basis of the promise that he will take care of you forever, only to find that promise broken when he dies and leaves you behind?
have you ever wondered what's that last C that acts in contrast to the 5Cs we already know? we chase after the 5Cs with our lives, but that one last C comes after us naturally in old age?
have you also, ever wondered what is most important in life?
singapore dreaming is unlike all royston tan and jack neo movies. i place this movie above all the rest. perhaps it does not meet royston's cinematographic standard and does not even come close to jack neo's humour, but this is one movie that has encapsulated the richness of an average singaporean's daily life. it's frankness can make you squirm in your seat when you see similar representations of your own life in that movie.
Condominium, Car, Cash, Country Club, Credit Card. But it's the Coffin that really catches up with all of us eventually. at the end of the day, what does it matter when you have won 2 million dollars but your health is in shambles? too many times, i have forgotten that health and loved ones matter the most.
easy to say, easy to type, hard to do.
because as we all know- singapore is made up of more than simplicity. we are high society- we aim to be the upper east side. we want to be the HUB of everything. aviation/education/monetary/ shipping/ information technology HUBS we want to be the center of the world.
our society has taught us that in order to survive, singapore must be the best. singapore must thrive on success. singapore must consider it's interests' as priority.
too many times, the nation's self-centeredness for survival has diffused into our personal lives. that is why Singapore cannot be qualified as a Civic Society just yet. we have become too driven for growth and instant recognition that we have forgotten how to appropriate our emotions to the right things. worse, we forget that our lives are worth more than our qualifications. so sometimes, we need constant reminders that life is worth more than our setbacks and failures.
and grace would agree with me. cause we both watched this movie during office hours today! working at NLB is so divine isn't it.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
5:30 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
why some men are attractive and some are not.
as grace, my colleague at NLB asserts, "NLB opens the door to new horizons of knowledge." cliche as it may sound, i have indeed been granted greater access to more academic resources- whether they come in books, periodicals, micro form, documentaries or videocassettes (yes, the library still uses antique technology like the VCR)
over the course of this week, i have been swimming in books, researching about the pioneers of social work in Singapore. they include othman wok and ee peng liang. and it is indeed heartwarming to realize that TOUCH is included in several of the books that i've been reading on.
but this has led me to go beyond Singapore- to look at personalities like barack obama and his personal quest in encouraging children/youths who grow up in single-parent families.
so here, in this very unusual post, i will attempt to describe some of the special characteristics that have made the following men attractive. certainly, good looks are a plus point, but it certainly wasn't a criteria to place them on
Charmaine's list of
Most Attractive Men.
currently at number one
barack obama, in this endearing photograph with his family. because NLB has a wide variety of resources, i managed to watch a lively and animated documentary on Obama's Campaign Trail. This account included intimate details of Obama's life- juggling his role as both politician and father. With Steve Kroft as the anchoring correspondent, this episode of 60 Minutes has painstakingly pursued Obama's campaign since 2007.
watching his breakthrough speeches at Springfield, Iowa and later at Pennsylvania (after the Jeremiah Wright incident), one cannot but stand in awe of this charismatic speaker. with every step that he takes onto the stage, he brings the fullness of energy and passion, exciting the audience with the simplicity of a word like "change".
yet, his candid conversations with michelle obama provide a sense of normalcy into this newly-elected President's life. though once cynical about the power of politics being able to bring transformation into society, it is no doubt that Obama's persistent belief in the American Dream has rubbed off on Michelle. When questioned if she ever thought about the worst- Obama being assassinated- as all other charismatic Presidents of the USA have suffered similar fates, Michelle Obama simply assures, "We cannot make our decisions based on fear."
so what's so great about Obama?
1. Charisma 2. Family Man (and go figure guys, it's better to be able to juggle both family and career than to put off family in the interest of pursuing a high-flying career.)
currently at number two
Vivian Balakrishnan- Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports. (MCYS)
2006 marked the 60th anniversary of this ministry. Over the years, it has definitely emerged into an all-encompassing ministry which focuses on meeting the needs of the community. in 1946, the Social Welfare Department was started by T.P.F. McNiece. Then in 1965, it was renamed as the Ministry of Culture and Social Affairs with Othman Wok at the helm. Finally in 2004, with then Acting Minister Vivian Balakrishnan, the name was changed to MCYS, a clear signal of the government's commitment to engage young Singaporeans in shaping the future.
In a ChannelnewsAsia documentary series titled Up Close- Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, the audience finds a minister who develops a desire to learn the drums from a group of boys at the Singapore Boys Home. i think as you grow older, you will come to appreciate ministers who are part of the system, yet have a mind of their own. Youthful and optimistic in spirit, Balakrishnan moves away from the orthodox mandate of *coughs. (hey, but if you know who i am referring to, you will also understand that i deeply respect the man, though the methods may still be lagging in the Confucian era.) hearing him speak personally at the Kent-Ridge Ministerial Dialogue last year, i've grown to admire Bala. He's different. He tells you that he aimed for Cs during his tertiary education, and that it's perfectly okay to chase your dreams.
try getting your hands on the documentary and catch the doctor in action as he treats his eye patients. he'll seem really caring that you'll wish for something wrong to happen to your eyes so you could get a private appointment with him. (*hahahaha. kidding.)
so what's so great about Balakrishnan?
1. he's absolutely charming. 2. Family Man
currently at number three
Apart from being the chairman of the Youth PAP branch, Teo Ser Luck holds an impressive list of academic and entrepreneurial achievements to his personal CV. He is currently with MCYS and NYC, married, two kids, but still looks DAMN FIT. (staying in shape even after marriage is hello, very crucial.) while researching on social service in Singapore, i stumbled upon a few interviews with Teo Ser Luck. In one of them, he describes the most significant incident of his life that would changehis mindset and life as a whole.
"I believe that the biggest lesson, however, came from the time I was sent to the girls' softball team. It gave me a chance to play, and made me want to do better...."
i could not stop laughing when i read that. but this incident was surely a starting point for this athlete's life. teo ser luck runs ironman marathons even at the age of 37- so this is quite a feat! definitely, many youths in Singapore might see him as a up and rising star within the YPAP, but besides the successful political career that he has, this is what makes Teo Ser Luck an attractive man.
1. Big Dreams. (and he makes it a life goal to chase them) 2. Family Man
however, the above is only wholly representative of my own personal preference. everyone will ultimately have a different set of criteria to judge their most attractive men. what's unique about mine is that when it all boils down to the religion factor, they all happen to be good christian men. what's even more unique is that they are the kind of atypical christian men that girls are looking out for in church. *yayyyyyy* currently, typical christian guys in church are nice, decent, stable- but BORING. at this point, you'll probably realize why girls prefer bad boys. but if i may add a comment or two, i don't think girls actually like bad boys. they know it is a risk to date bad boys! yet, bad boys somehow have that attractive quality of adventure and excitement.
so yes, i definitely prefer atypical christian men.
but O Lord....... if they're atypical, it also means that they are the minority! :)
* this remains as a blog post. because i could never carry out such a conversation in reality. hahah, way too embarrassing!
Vivian Balakrishnan-
Apart from being the chairman of the Youth PAP branch,
